Video Game Nostalgia

I started this post at 1:30 am a few nights ago. 

I can't sleep, and my mind is racing, so I figured I could waste some time here. But I don't know what to write about (there are like ten topics right now I could rant about, actually, but I don't want to think too hard, since this is supposed to help lull me to sleep), so I'll just tell you some good memories.

I miss (video) gaming. I used to do it a lot in elementary-high school, during breaks in college, and even in graduate school. I still like keeping up with news about upcoming titles and releases, but I haven't played through a newly-released game on my own, without someone else there the whole time, since 2013 (The Walking Dead,  Journey, and Injustice). My new Beaux has encouraged me to play some games with him present, and I finished one but have basically given up during the final boss battle of another. And since, as I mentioned already, I like keeping up with what's new, he bought me Horizon: Zero Dawn for my birthday last year, knowing I was super interested in it (as pretty much every female gamer was). But I couldn't finish that one, either- I played for a few hours, and liked what I got through, but since I was playing on his PS4 and we weren't living together, and my roommates were playing through it on theirs, and then he started playing it, too... 

Not me. Not me in the slightest.

But I also was reeeeeally struggling with the whole joystick thing. I've always been terrible at FPS, and preferred my games to be third-person, with a camera that follows you, and maybe you do some tweaking, if the environment is 3-D. Like what Journey did, or Resident Evil 4. Having to constantly move the camera with me, especially during combat was something I just couldn't adapt to. And I was embarrassed because my Beaux would watch me play and screw up SUPER STUPID BADLY because the camera wasn't in the right spot. Sure, he was never mean about it, but I was just so ashamed that this professed "gamer" that I was couldn't even shoot a gorram arrow at a slow-moving target, let alone survive intense, quick combat. And I am fully aware that most games have a camera system like that nowadays, so I know getting back into games is going to be really difficult for me. He's got me playing Portal, a game I've been interested in for a decade, which he says will help me get better at the camera thing, but it's sometimes really hard to focus because he's right there and I don't want to look stupid, and I feel like no matter how hard I try not to, when I respond to something he says while I'm playing, I sound angry or mean because I'm so tense.* 

Anyway

The fact that I used to be pretty okay at video games and am now an utter N00b is painful. And there's no way to express my disappointment without either sounding whiney or curmudgeony. I think it's great that games have evolved! I'm just sad I didn't evolve with them. 

I don't remember if I talked about it specifically or not before, but video games were a way for my family to "come together" when I was a kid/teenager. Sure, I'd play through stuff Mom and Dad rented or managed to buy for me on my own, but there were a few series we would play together, meaning Dad, my older sister, and I (and later with the addition of my younger sister) would take turns holding the control while everybody else (including Mom and my younger brother) watched. They were mostly survival horror, but the Spyro series was one distinctly not "scary" series I remember we enjoyed. While I remember needing to do some camera work in that game, it was so much slower than the intense stuff that's around nowadays. And with it being re-released in November, I worry I'll still be too shitty of a player to even bother getting it because it's going to be too "updated" for me to handle. (Same goes for this Resident Evil 2 Remaster.)

But anyhoo.  

Video games were some of the few luxury items Dad was willing to splurge on, when they were the right titles. Whenever a new game in a series our family liked playing together was coming out, he would leave work early enough to pick it up on the way home and still get there before my older sister and I did that Thursday. We would start it that afternoon, sometimes with a pause for dinner in the evening, other times not (and actually, I think I remember later the tradition became ordering Chinese takeout from our favorite place). And Dad, my older sis, and me would stay home the next day to keep playing. We'd sometimes play through a game twice over the weekend, if it was one we liked that much. I even remember one time, Dad actually picked me up from school early on Thursday so I could go with him when he went to Blockbuster to rent the system (GameCube) after we bought the game (back when that was still a Thing) (also it may make no sense we rented the console but bought the game, but 1) Dad wanted us to purchase the game "so the'll keep making these fuckers," and 2) at that point, it was the only game we were interested in on that system, and we weren't sure if any others would come out; we bought one eventually because yeah, we wanted other stuff on it, but a console is a much bigger investment than a game, and when bills may or may not be on time, you have to prioritize, is all I'm sayin', yo).

Video games were Serious Business in our household. What's interesting is Dad, older sis, and I all played NES and Genesis, but never with each other. I'd sometimes watch Dad play stuff, but for the most part, gaming was a solo act for us. Until we got the Playstation. After that, we started the whole "play hooky," everybody's involved thing. I think because we got the system, along with the first RE, Tekken 3, and the Die Hard Trilogy on Christmas, and so we were all available to hang out as we watched Dad play Die Hard, and since I had always liked horror/scary/spooky shit, he wanted me there when he tried Resident Evil, and it just kind of evolved into this whole family thing. And over time, it became somewhat of a refuge when things were rough. 

Ah, memories. It led to some pretty great moments. Some highlights:

Resident: Evil

MOM: *From the dining table where she's putting on makeup or something* Do you really have to kill the dogs?

GAB: Yes, Mom, they're zombie dogs.

ZOMBIE DOG: AAAAAAAARGH! *snarls, goes after JILL*

JILL: AGH! *bleeds* 

GAB: See, Mom?! They're going after my jugular!

MOM: Well, it's just sad.

JILL: *shoots ZOMBIE DOG*

ZOMBIE DOG: *yelps, falls over*

MOM: See? They scream in pain!

ZOMBIE DOG: *big pool of blood forms underneath, indicating it's dead for realz*

JILL: *limps away, health in red now*

Yeah, I feel SOOOO BAD about it.

MOM: Why are you limping?

GAB: *pauses, turns to stare at MOM*

MOM: WHAT?!?!

Silent Hill

DAD: *after messing with the PIANO for almost an hour* I'm not musical, maybe that's it. Here *shoves control at OLDER SIS* you do this shit.

OLDER SIS: Sure! I'll get this nice and quick.

*an hour later*

OLDER SIS: I have no idea.

DAD: Gab, you try.

*OLDER SIS hands GAB control*

GAB: Okaaaaay, but if you two couldn't get it, I-

DAD: Just try it, we gotta get past this shit.

*an hour later*

GAB: Daaaaaaad, I really don't think-

DAD: Fine! Yeah! Whatever! I give up for now! Jesus!

*the next day, DAD is all business*

DAD: Okay, girls, we're gonna get this shit. *tries a few things, none work*

OLDER SIS: Maybe if-

DAD: I DON'T KNOW! It's like this piano is laughing at me!

PIANO: *does nothing*

*DAD keeps trying for another two hours or so, then rage quits again*

*the next day, OLDER SIS isn't home*

DAD: *serious tone, stage whisper, in the kitchen* Okay, Gab.

GAB: Yeah?

DAD: They have, like, walkthroughs and shit on the Internet, right?

GAB: Yeah, so?

DAD: *normal tone* So? *marches over to Playstation, boots it up* So you're gonna go upstairs, go online, and print me some kind of Goddamn walkthrough so I can get past this FUCKING piece of shit piano, and you aren't gonna tell your sister about it. Got it?

GAB: Y-y-YES! Got it!

*two hours later, OLDER SIS gets home*

OLDER SIS: Oh hey! You made it past the piano!

GAB: Well-

DAD: Fuck YEAH, we did, right, Gab?

GAB: Yeah! Yeah, right!

Dino Crisis

GAB: OHMYGOD, THAT'S SAILOR VENUS!

DAD: The fuck are you talking about?

OLDER SIS: I think you're right, Gab, that sounds like her!

DAD: Oh, you mean the girl doing Regina's voice?

BOTH GIRLS: OHMYGOD! THAT'S SO COOL!

DAD: QUIET, DAMNIT! I don't wanna get jumped by a-

RAPTOR: *leaps out and attacks*

DAD: MOTHER FUCKER!

*later in the game, OLDER SIS is playing*

GAB: At least they don't open doors in this game like they do in Jurassic Park.

*ten minutes later T-REX smashes head through big window and starts chomping at Regina*

DAD: AAAAAAGH!

OLDER SIS: SHIT YOU DO IT! *throws control at GAB*

GAB: WHY ME?! *fumbles control, it goes under the coffee table*

DAD: Cuz you JINXED it, you idiot!

T-REX: ROOOOOAAAAAR!!!!! *bites Regina's head off*

GAB: *emerging from under table, holding control over head* GOT IT!

OLDER SIS and DAD: *glare at GAB*

GAB: *looks at screen* Oh... *control goes down slowly into lap* Sorry...

Resident Evil 3 

NEMESIS: STAAAAARS! 

DAD: Okay, so we obviously can't run from this, shit. And I don't even have the shotgun!

GAB: I dunno, Dad, I think the Magnum is better.

DAD: Well I'll just let him kill me so I can get to the box and grab a shotgun. 

NEMESIS: STAAAAAARS!!

*DAD loads from the last save point, loads up on healing items, and takes the shotgun to the fight*

OLDER SIS: Don't you think you should save again with all of your stuff, just to make it easier?

DAD: It'll be fine.

NEMESIS: STAAAAARSS!

*DAD enters the fight and empties two shotgun cartridges into NEMESIS*

DAD: Why isn't the fucker down yet?

NEMESIS: STAAAAARSS!

DAD: *closes eyes, breathes in deeply through nose, exhales slowly through mouth, blinks* Okay, I just need more bullets. I'll save after I add them to my inventory.

GAB: Are you sure you don't wanna try the Magnum?

DAD: Sweetie, listen, I ran out of bullets last time, that's it. The shotgun is fine. There's no way we're even half done with the game yet, I want to save the Magnum for the final boss.

GAB: Okay, Dad.

NEMESIS: STAAAAARRRRSS!

DAD: Son. Of. A. Bitch! Well, how 'bout one of you try?

OLDER SIS: I can! *takes control*

GAB: Sis, will you try the Magnum?

OLDER SIS: Nah, I can probably dodge better. I'll use the rest of the B gunpowder and make more bullets, too.

DAD: Magnum bullets are too hard to make, the shotgun is fine.

OLDER SIS: Yeah, we just need to be careful not to miss.

DAD: And we can try the grenade launcher next.

GAB: Okaaaaay.....

OLDER SIS: Let's go, then!

NEMESIS: STAAAAAARRRSSS!

OLDER SIS: Okay, grenade launcher it is, then.

NEMESIS: STAAAAARRRRSS!!!

OLDER SIS: Okay, well, I wasn't careful enough to dodge, I'll do better this time.

NEMESIS: 

,

!!!!!!

GAB: *holds out hand* May I?

OLDER SIS: *glares*

DAD: Oh, for Christ's sake, just let her. 

GAB: *starts from last safe point, loads up on as many Magnum rounds as I can make* Just one try with this, okay? I won't save that I used all of the C powder, and if it doesn't work, I'll switch to the grenade launcher.

DAD: *grumbles* I still like the shotgun more, on principle.

NEMESIS: STAAAAAARSS!

GAB: *unloads entire clip of rounds into NEMESIS without getting hit, runs for cover* OKAY! *reloads* So I know that was a lot of rounds, but let's see what happens.

OLDER SIS: *scoffs*

GAB: *unloads all but last bullet into NEMESIS*

DAD: Aw, shit, it's your last shot!

GAB: Oh my GOOOOOOD! *last shot*

NEMESIS: *staggers, falls down, whispering now* Staaaarrrss....

DAD: Holy shit, did you get 'im?

GAB: *panicked* I dunno!

OLDER SIS: He's not moving, the boss music stopped, you did it!

GAB: *jumps up, fist pumping* I TOLD YOU GUYS TO USE THE MAGNUM!!!!!!! *offers control to DAD*

DAD: *while standing and walking around his recliner toward his bedroom and bathroom* No, no, obviously you're smarter about this shit than me, you're in charge for a while. I need to take a shit and eat some TUMS, this shit is stressing me the fuck out. Pause it until I get back, will ya?

GAB: *beams at OLDER SIS*

OLDER SIS: *rolls eyes*

Code: Veronica X

YOUNGER SIS: Okay, but like dolls creep me out. *tries to offer control to GAB*

DAD: Oh no, you need to get in on this more. Keep going.

YOUNGER SIS: *whimpers, keeps playing*

GAB: Anyway, it's a zombie game, the dolls won't come to life. They're just... atmosphere, ambience. 

YOUNGER SIS: I'll "atmos" your "sphere".

DAD: *sighs*

*both girls giggle*

ZOMBIE: UUUUNNNNNGGGGGH!

YOUNGER SIS: SHIT! 

*later*

DAD: Oh don't tell me he's just a fuckin' cross-dressing nutjob?

*it's revealed Alfred has been dressing as his sister*

DAD: Son. Of. A. Bitch.

*later*

YOUNGER SIS: STEEEEEVE! 

STEVE: 

YOUNGER SIS: Dyammit. Don't say you love her, please, oh for the love of GOD, don't do it, it'll break me.

STEVE:

YOUNGER SIS: NOOOOOOOO I SAID DON'T DO THAT YOU ASSHOLE! Don't die on me now!

STEVE:

YOUNGER SIS: NUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOO!!!

Limbo

DAD: SHIT, why's this so fuckin' hard!

YOUNGER SIS: Uh, Dad, I think that's kinda the point. Like you're supposed to die a bunch?

DAD: Well I don't appreciate that.

GAB: You're supposed to figure out how to solve the puzzles by dying.

DAD: I shouldn't have to die to sove a fuckin' puzzle.

YOUNGER SIS: What are those? 

DAD: Fuck if I know!

GAB: They look kinda like insect legs.

YOUNGER SIS: Or tree branches?

BOY: 

DAD: *growels*

*later*

YOUNGER SIS: Okayokayokay, I can't believe we didn't die back there. What do we do now?

DAD: Try pushing that boulder into that tree?

YOUNGER SIS: Okay, Imma do it. And I am NOT going to die this time!

BOY: 

YOUNGER SIS: DYAAAAMMMIIIIT!

+++++++

I have tons of others, but I've gone on long enough. And it's time to watch my Beaux play something. Memories, though.

*That tension is probably mostly related to some other general mental health garbage- which is why I can't sleep, so HI! You're reading this because I'm a MESS! YAY!.